Good morning, Saturday Slackers,
I am home alone in Columbia, MO for the first time in nearly a year. Nancy is at work, and Bob has gone to his office. I am the only official "Saturday Slacker" around here, although Nancy has read 7 books while at her summer job, whose location I won't reveal lest all of you go apply. My official purpose this morning is to "organize our tax information." I am approaching the job the same way I approached my "packing" duties in Ireland. That is, I'm using it as a way to explain long periods of time when I'm really talking on the phone, doing a crossword or, worse yet, blogging for no good reason. But you won't tell anyone, will you? If you were in charge of organizing my tax information, you'd be blogging, too. I think our W-2 forms are somewhere. I have seen them. I figure if I find them that will be enough of an accomplishment for today. I have my salt-and-pepper tresses firmly tied back from my face, accenting my natural beauty. I am make up free, enhancing my natural look. I am padding down the hallway in my gray work out capris, a free tee shirt a co-worker handed me this week, and my formerly white terry cloth slippers to Molly's room to search the mail stacks right now. I have put on some soothing Irish music and I'm pretending I'm really gazing at the Irish Ocean, not at a sea of papers...Of course, I am doing all of this AFTER setting my MT's..
Taxing and waxing,
I remain
Tizzie/Tiz/Tizmom/Mom/Liz/Elizabeth
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Socializing & Sleeping
Good day, Saturday Slackers,
You must be rubbing off on me since I'm writing my blog at 3:45 PM. I must admit that blog writing has a hard time competing swith the 2 morning newspapers I receive
on Saturday mornings. By the time I finish reading them, my family has awakened and started asking me annoying questions like what's for breakfast, what's for lunch, what's for dinner, where are my socks, where is my shirt for work, do we have any healthy snacks.. well, you get the picture? Of course, I don't have answers for any of those questions, nor do I want to provide any answers lest I be held responsible for them....Bob and I met Molly's boyfriend's parents for the first time today. See the picture above. We enjoyed lunch at Flat Branch. As we got acquainted, Molly and Cody sat by quietly. I didn't see too much eye rolling on their parts...You can see what happens to Bob when he has to socialize. I'm hoping he wakes up soon so I can ask him when he's going to mow the lawn, clean out the basement, hose off the back porch, and of course do what I hope you've already done. Do I have to remind you again??? Set your mousetraps AND your mole traps! Those rodents are just laying in wait to invade your personal space. Trust me on this...Off to hunt and gather in suburbia. Somehow it's still a drag dragging home the vittles even though I do have a deluxe wheelie cart in which to drive to the store..
Cruising, not snoozing,
I remain
Tizzie/Tiz/Tizmom/Mom/Liz/Elizabeth
P.S. If I knew how to reverse the pictures above I would have.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
The Good Wife
July 18 blogpost –
Good day, friends, fam, fans, fiends, and foes,
Bob had arthroscopic knee surgery Friday, so I’ve been busy being a dutiful wife. I was doing an exemplary job at first. I put a sheet on the couch, strategically positioned pills, water, and the remote on the TV tray, put the extra ice packs in the freezer, and pretty much went about my business, whatever that is. The knee seemed to have been miraculously cured . He was walking on it pain-free., wondering why he hadn’t had the surgery done years ago. However, late yesterday that all changed. The knee started to hurt. The prescription did need to be filled. The crutches were, in fact, needed. The pills needed to be taken with food. Food was needed. Water was needed. Help was needed putting on shoes, dressing, undressing, bandaging, etc. etc. All the sudden, I actually had to do stuff. I'm never good in those circumstances. All these responsibilities so wore me out that I had to go to the movie with two girlfriends just to recuperate. Meanwhile, my patient seems to be enjoying his loll about the house…A special shout out to the newly crowned “Little Miss Edgar County”..another “mother moment” above with the watermelon somehow falling out of the fridge…Nancy just informed me that the watermelon is "leaking" in the fridge..my new blue suede shoes – do you like em? Did you notice that they match my top?...Must get to bed so I can be ready to continue my nursing duties…
Nursing and cursing,
I remain
Tizzie/Tiz/Tizmom/Mom/Liz/Elizabeth
Monday, July 12, 2010
My True Calling
Good day, friends and foes,
I've forged a new identity and have another great idea of how to make my life worthwhile. Read on and tell me what you think. On Saturday our WiFi wasn't working, so I called the Century Tel 800 number. I had a 30 minute conversation with the nicest young man. He patiently asked me the standard questions..What operating system do you have? (I don't know. How do I find that out?)..Well, how old is your computer? (Not sure. How do I find that out? I think my third child was in grade school when we got it. Give me a minute...)What search engine are you trying to get onto? (I don't know. All of them. Any of them. Just get me to my e-mail.)..Did you unplug the ethernet cord? (What color did you say that was? I think it's unplugged. I unplugged something.) Which lights are flashing? (Just a minute. Let me get my glasses.) Did you type in the codes I gave you? (Oops. I accidentally pushed "enter"; could you give me those 20 digits/letter again?). What's happening on the router? (Which one did you say was the router?) Luckily, I get a different guy every time I call. I worry that the techies might save my number (they would know how to do that, you know) and publish a "phone number hit list" of customers they want to off. I'm afraid I would be near the top of the list. That's why, despite many requests, I never give out my phone number to young men in bars. You just never know... On the other hand, I think I could make big money as a techie tester. I could hire myself out to large corporations to test the mettle of their tech support. If they could make it through a 30 minute conversation with me without heading for the nearest bridge afterward or reaching for a bottle of whiskey under the desk, they would be up to the job...
Tormenting techies,
I remain
Tizzie/Tiz/Tizmom/Mom/Liz/Elizabeth
I've forged a new identity and have another great idea of how to make my life worthwhile. Read on and tell me what you think. On Saturday our WiFi wasn't working, so I called the Century Tel 800 number. I had a 30 minute conversation with the nicest young man. He patiently asked me the standard questions..What operating system do you have? (I don't know. How do I find that out?)..Well, how old is your computer? (Not sure. How do I find that out? I think my third child was in grade school when we got it. Give me a minute...)What search engine are you trying to get onto? (I don't know. All of them. Any of them. Just get me to my e-mail.)..Did you unplug the ethernet cord? (What color did you say that was? I think it's unplugged. I unplugged something.) Which lights are flashing? (Just a minute. Let me get my glasses.) Did you type in the codes I gave you? (Oops. I accidentally pushed "enter"; could you give me those 20 digits/letter again?). What's happening on the router? (Which one did you say was the router?) Luckily, I get a different guy every time I call. I worry that the techies might save my number (they would know how to do that, you know) and publish a "phone number hit list" of customers they want to off. I'm afraid I would be near the top of the list. That's why, despite many requests, I never give out my phone number to young men in bars. You just never know... On the other hand, I think I could make big money as a techie tester. I could hire myself out to large corporations to test the mettle of their tech support. If they could make it through a 30 minute conversation with me without heading for the nearest bridge afterward or reaching for a bottle of whiskey under the desk, they would be up to the job...
Tormenting techies,
I remain
Tizzie/Tiz/Tizmom/Mom/Liz/Elizabeth
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Mothering, Mattresses, Mice, Molly, and Me
MM: 2 mi ( I can’t claim that they are forced now)
Good morning, Saturday Slackers,
I’ve missed you. Despite my best efforts, the real world has sucked me back in. Nonetheless, I have not forgotten my duties, and I hope you haven’t forgotten yours. You know what today is, and you know what you need to do. Now go do it! It doesn’t matter if they are the super sticky kind (unless torturing small animals bothers you) or just the old-fashioned metal kind; get those mousetraps set! All done? Okay, let’s begin. …Do you remember what you were doing on July 4, 1976? I do. Bob and I arrived in Arlington, MA to begin our married life. Bob was most upset that a great deal of noise and revelry was occurring in our new apartment complex. He was afraid that we had unwittingly moved into a “party place.” In the timid wifely way that I have continued to this day, I mentioned that it WAS the bicentennial (that’s the 200th anniversary of the USA, for you young readers) and that we WERE in Boston, MA, where it all began. Well, on that very night we got our first new mattress. Our second new mattress - aka “the queen” – arrived last Saturday. We spent days preparing for her arrival. We even did something we usually only do once per decade: we cleaned underneath the bed and discovered all kinds of interesting artifacts including clothes in plastic storage boxes that probably haven’t fit us since 1976. Most of you are in the 20th if not the 21st century in your decorating schemes so you are used to this, but I was most unprepared for the height of my new mattress set. My books and eyeglasses now crash to the floor as I drop them off the cliff. I am considering a pulley system to remedy this. (John, are you doing anything today? ) I also can’t sit on the bed and put on my shoes anymore, so I find myself hopping down the hall. I am open to suggestions. ..I am readjusting to motherhood. I had a couple “Oh, yeah, I remember this” mother moments yesterday. I was cleaning the kitchen and noticed the small cooler I had lent Nancy to go to the lake last weekend. When I opened it, lo and behold, there was a wet towel and a bathing suit. Nancy also seized my prized Vera Bradley overnight bag last night so that I will get to carry an old beat up "Mombag" suitcase to Molly's trendy apartment. Of course, I don't mind. Really. Evidently, I’m not a very good mother to my computers. Tim and Megan (our personal Geek Squad) determined that the computer in the basement - aka “Sony” --no longer works properly because she has not been turned on in nearly a year. Sony , my best friend until Toshiba came along, is dying from benign neglect. My advice: go turn on your old computer! You never know when you’ll need her. While you’re at it, comment on my blog or send me an e-mail!... I have returned to work at the University Bookstore. Without asking me first, they have installed a new inventory system. So far, it doesn’t seem too complicated, which must mean that I am missing something. Nonetheless, it is great to be back among familiar friends and faces. The bookstore is under construction, and guess what problem has been plaguing our office? Are you ready for this?? Mice! I’m not lying. One woman had a mouse perched on her desk while another co-worker was spied sneaking a University Bookstore bag to the dumpster with a gray tail hanging suspiciously out of it. So, you know that my advice must be followed. Set your mousetraps at work, too.!! …We are off to Kansas City today to visit Molly and see her new apartment. Bob will be watching the World Cup while Molly and I wander…
Taking my own advice,
I remain
Tizzie/Tiz/Tizmom/Mom/Liz/Elizabeth
Good morning, Saturday Slackers,
I’ve missed you. Despite my best efforts, the real world has sucked me back in. Nonetheless, I have not forgotten my duties, and I hope you haven’t forgotten yours. You know what today is, and you know what you need to do. Now go do it! It doesn’t matter if they are the super sticky kind (unless torturing small animals bothers you) or just the old-fashioned metal kind; get those mousetraps set! All done? Okay, let’s begin. …Do you remember what you were doing on July 4, 1976? I do. Bob and I arrived in Arlington, MA to begin our married life. Bob was most upset that a great deal of noise and revelry was occurring in our new apartment complex. He was afraid that we had unwittingly moved into a “party place.” In the timid wifely way that I have continued to this day, I mentioned that it WAS the bicentennial (that’s the 200th anniversary of the USA, for you young readers) and that we WERE in Boston, MA, where it all began. Well, on that very night we got our first new mattress. Our second new mattress - aka “the queen” – arrived last Saturday. We spent days preparing for her arrival. We even did something we usually only do once per decade: we cleaned underneath the bed and discovered all kinds of interesting artifacts including clothes in plastic storage boxes that probably haven’t fit us since 1976. Most of you are in the 20th if not the 21st century in your decorating schemes so you are used to this, but I was most unprepared for the height of my new mattress set. My books and eyeglasses now crash to the floor as I drop them off the cliff. I am considering a pulley system to remedy this. (John, are you doing anything today? ) I also can’t sit on the bed and put on my shoes anymore, so I find myself hopping down the hall. I am open to suggestions. ..I am readjusting to motherhood. I had a couple “Oh, yeah, I remember this” mother moments yesterday. I was cleaning the kitchen and noticed the small cooler I had lent Nancy to go to the lake last weekend. When I opened it, lo and behold, there was a wet towel and a bathing suit. Nancy also seized my prized Vera Bradley overnight bag last night so that I will get to carry an old beat up "Mombag" suitcase to Molly's trendy apartment. Of course, I don't mind. Really. Evidently, I’m not a very good mother to my computers. Tim and Megan (our personal Geek Squad) determined that the computer in the basement - aka “Sony” --no longer works properly because she has not been turned on in nearly a year. Sony , my best friend until Toshiba came along, is dying from benign neglect. My advice: go turn on your old computer! You never know when you’ll need her. While you’re at it, comment on my blog or send me an e-mail!... I have returned to work at the University Bookstore. Without asking me first, they have installed a new inventory system. So far, it doesn’t seem too complicated, which must mean that I am missing something. Nonetheless, it is great to be back among familiar friends and faces. The bookstore is under construction, and guess what problem has been plaguing our office? Are you ready for this?? Mice! I’m not lying. One woman had a mouse perched on her desk while another co-worker was spied sneaking a University Bookstore bag to the dumpster with a gray tail hanging suspiciously out of it. So, you know that my advice must be followed. Set your mousetraps at work, too.!! …We are off to Kansas City today to visit Molly and see her new apartment. Bob will be watching the World Cup while Molly and I wander…
Taking my own advice,
I remain
Tizzie/Tiz/Tizmom/Mom/Liz/Elizabeth
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Trying to Declare Your Independence?
Hey, Saturday Slackers,
You're at it again,huh? You don't think that YOU actually get a holiday, do you? Don't you remember that this is a three day weekend so that even more is expected of you? You must not only perform your usual chores - and you know what those are- but you must also don a pair of shorts (Lord preserve me), grab a metal spatula, and cook up something more exotic than the bricket-style balls that my parents passed off as grilled hamburgers. The art of cooking out has evolved even if you haven't. You must also put a smile on your face, entertain your family and friends, and do this all outside no matter what the temperature. Still sitting here reading this blog instead? You should be ashamed of yourself. Me? Tim and Megan's visit inspired me to new domestic and culinary heights. I fixed not one but two new recipes for dinner. One came from the Pepperidge Farm (God bless the USA) stuffing package, the other off the Del Monte (God bless America) shredded bag of salad. I also made my usual brownies which somehow never got firm in the middle. Maybe my oven really doesn't work. Megan dubbed them "molten cake" and we dug in anyway. Nancy insisted that her mono might cause her to get salmonella from the uncooked eggs, but it's a chance she took. She knows that you always eat here at your own risk. Anyway, they'll all be up to watch soccer shortly. I am thankful for yet another American pre-prepared product: Sister Schubert's frozen cinnamon rolls...Oops, I almost forgot to remind you...Are you paying attention? You know what to do. Go set them. Now. Those mice are just waiting to ruin your cookout...Did I ever tell you about the time Tim lifted his grill lid only to see five sets of baby mice eyes staring back at him?? It's true! He is still recovering..
Grilling when I want to be chilling,
I remain
Tizzie/Tiz/Tizmom/Mom/Liz/Elizabeth
You're at it again,huh? You don't think that YOU actually get a holiday, do you? Don't you remember that this is a three day weekend so that even more is expected of you? You must not only perform your usual chores - and you know what those are- but you must also don a pair of shorts (Lord preserve me), grab a metal spatula, and cook up something more exotic than the bricket-style balls that my parents passed off as grilled hamburgers. The art of cooking out has evolved even if you haven't. You must also put a smile on your face, entertain your family and friends, and do this all outside no matter what the temperature. Still sitting here reading this blog instead? You should be ashamed of yourself. Me? Tim and Megan's visit inspired me to new domestic and culinary heights. I fixed not one but two new recipes for dinner. One came from the Pepperidge Farm (God bless the USA) stuffing package, the other off the Del Monte (God bless America) shredded bag of salad. I also made my usual brownies which somehow never got firm in the middle. Maybe my oven really doesn't work. Megan dubbed them "molten cake" and we dug in anyway. Nancy insisted that her mono might cause her to get salmonella from the uncooked eggs, but it's a chance she took. She knows that you always eat here at your own risk. Anyway, they'll all be up to watch soccer shortly. I am thankful for yet another American pre-prepared product: Sister Schubert's frozen cinnamon rolls...Oops, I almost forgot to remind you...Are you paying attention? You know what to do. Go set them. Now. Those mice are just waiting to ruin your cookout...Did I ever tell you about the time Tim lifted his grill lid only to see five sets of baby mice eyes staring back at him?? It's true! He is still recovering..
Grilling when I want to be chilling,
I remain
Tizzie/Tiz/Tizmom/Mom/Liz/Elizabeth
Thursday, July 1, 2010
How to Live to 100
Good day, folks,
I never read articles entitled "How to Live to 100" myself; however, maybe some of you are interested in the secrets of longevity. I have just spent 12 days with my mother, who will be turning 100 in November, so this advice is up-to-the minute:
1. Always insist on real butter. It is a crime to eat any facsimile.
2. Pass on the sour cream.
3. Cottage cheese could be lethal.
4. Eat a half grapefruit with sugar each morning.
5. Drink plenty of hot tea and iced tea.
6. Use Half and Half on your cereal.
7. Stick with brands you know. Oatmeal must be Quaker. Tissues must be Puffs. Shoes must be Easy Spirit. Don't settle for anything less.
8. Don't waste your time doing laundry. Don't get your clothes dirty in the first place. Hang them to "air out" if needed.
9. Don't run so many errands. What are "errands" anyway? And why are you doing so many of them?
10. Take time to sit on the porch each day and notice the sun, the moon, the clouds, and the stars.
11. Go riding around whenever possible.
12. Dry yourself with small thin towels. Why do you need all that towel volume?
13. Accept all invitations.
14. Ask a lot of questions.
While I only adhere to 1, 6, and 14, I have lots more if you're interested. In the meantime, I'm ready to do one that's not on the list: drink a nice glass of red wine in the middle of the afternoon for no good reason. I hope this admission doesn't lead to private "interventions" by my children as a few other blogs have...On the other hand, I use whatever techniques are necessary to get my kids to call me...The photo is Mom and her granddaughter Coady Magers. Coady is wearing Mom's dress from 1964.
Thinking and drinking,
I remain
Tizzie/Tiz/Tizmom/Mom/Liz/Elizabeth
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