Saturday, June 4, 2011

Under Siege





Hello, Saturday Slackers,

What is your excuse today? Pretending to be doing something useful on the computer while you’re really rotting your mind with Tiztalk? Well, I’ll never tell. Bob’s mowing the yard, so he’s not likely to check on what I’m doing for at least an hour. It’s always dangerous to leave me alone for an hour without specific directions .

Last time I swore that I was filling your quota for doing dumb things. Well, now I think I am setting new records for surburbanites whose homes are under attack. Under attack, you say? What is she talking about? Let me tell you. I live in a very ordinary house in a very ordinary subdivision. I think I live in a civilized neighborhood, but I sometimes wonder if creatures and critters look at my house and see a big X on it. Let’s go there. We’re sure to get a rise out of THAT lady.

I can’t decide whether it’s good or bad to wake up and put on my glasses. Last weekend I got up, did not put on my glasses, and grabbed a paper towel to pick up the “leaf” on my floor. Wasn’t I surprised to discover that it was actually a tree frog? See the photo above. Well, you can imagine my response. I screamed and hopped around like a tree frog myself for a few seconds. In fact, it was a DEAD petrified tree frog. Don’t ask me how or why it appeared in my kitchen. In self defense, I put on my glasses and walked over to the counter just in time to spy an ant strutting out of my toaster. .. Due to the rain, our basement got wet and we spent a few hours taking up carpet in Tim’s room. Despite family lore and evidence to the contrary, there was no well-established cricket colony or spider sanctuary ensconced under the carpeting. However, we did discover a few slimy worms living near the doorway which Bob picked up like a schoolyard boy and attempted to scare me with… Then there are the cicadas. They’re everywhere! One flew into my hair while I was walking and I did what anyone would do: I freaked out , waved my hands, slapped about my head , and did a little dance to entertain my neighbors. While all reports say they are “harmless”, I’m not fond of personal encounters with prehistoric insects. Last night I left the light on for Nancy and she said the entire door was covered with them. She had to sneak in the garage. ..We are also the victims of a tree outside our deck which is filled with squirrels that aren’t the least bit afraid of us. They come to the window and stare us down. Bob has been searching for his electric squirrel zapper to teach them a lesson, but so far he hasn’t found it. I wouldn’t be surprised if they stuck out their tongues and put their paws in their ears to taunt us.

We are s waiting for the deer to come feast on our tiger lilies, and the mole trap is set. But the raccoons and possums have left us alone lately.

This just in….Bob reported that he just killed a large black snake in the backyard. It was about 4’ long, although now that he knows I’m blogging about it he says it was 12 feet long and 4 inches in diameter. He killed it with a rake and then cut off its head with the clippers. He’s offered to show it to me, but I have declined his kind invitation. Of course, this reminded Bob of one more reason that Ireland is better than COMO – there are no snakes there.

I am about to build a mote around my house, but somehow I’m afraid all the critters would get on my side of it…

Did I mention the biggest assault of all on our home? Nancy is home from college. Talk about creatures stirring up trouble! Well, I’ll have to save that one for another time.

First photo is Nancy and Maggie heading to London a few weeks ago.

Crittering my life away,
I remain
Tizzie/Tiz/Tizmom/Mom/Liz/Elizabeth