Good day, Sunday through Saturday Slackers,
You are probably wondering what I've been doing that's so much more important than blogging, aren't you? Wrangling raccoons? Pestering possums? Menacing moles and voles? Read on to find out....Above you'll see Cara (my niece), Molly, Amy, (Molly's friend) and Nancy. Yesterday we were all in Kansas City living it up. We dined outside at the Cheesecake Factory on the Plaza. Nancy, Teresa (Amy's mom) and I went to a most thrilling shopping shopping destination (only in Nancy's mind): a huuuuuuuuge Forever 21 . Nancy was overjoyed to walk out with a bagful of up-to-the-minute fashions which were priced right (aka "cheap") and guaranteed to go out of style by the time they are washed once and fall apart. ..After a day of frivolous shopping, eating, and touring around Kansas City, I suddenly remembered a gloomy prospect that only comes around once/year: I have bunco at my house Monday night! Like paying taxes and dying, hosting bunco duties do arrive once every 12 months. Now you might say, "Oh, Tizzie/Liz/Mom/Tizmom/Tiz/Elizabeth, surely you have that figured out by now. You must have trademark recipes that you pull out every year to impress your friends. They must all say, 'Well, tonight we'll surely have that yummy________ that she always fixes us with such flair.'"
Ah, if only that were true. No, every year I scramble to recreate myself in the cooking/hostessing department. I can create no crusty breads that turn out just right. Or soups that make everyone demand my recipe. Or any hot cheesy dips that are all the rage. The last time I tried to make a pie - crust and all - was in the 1970s. The experience was so traumatic that my therapist demanded that I never try again. No, each year I scour my cookbooks in search of the perfect simple -yet elegant- recipes to feed my friends. When Teresa (a bunkette) asked me yesterday - while sitting in the breeze shooting the breeze - what I was doing for bunco, I made a huge mistake. I told her. My biggest accomplishment so far has been to Google "Bunco Recipes". I found a great website called "Meredith's Recipes" and I am making just what's on that lady's list for bunco gatherings. I announced that I was making Rolo pretzels and almond bark popcorn. Well, now Teresa can't wait, and I must actually make those things. When will I learn to keep my mouth shut??? In the meantime, I will once again blame the person who is responsible for my lack of cooking skills. Who? Aren't I a grown woman in charge of my life? Well, who else? My mother, of course! Even though she is 99 1/2, she must still shoulder the blame. Instead of learning to cook at her side, I was off doing who knows what -- hanging out with my friends, talking on the phone, reading movie magazines, riding around -- things I'm still quite good at, mind you. No, no one ever showed me how to cook, so I must somehow endure this public humiliation that comes a few times/year, usually at Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and, of course the worst of all (since it's my friends not my family to whom my faults are exposed) : Bunco! ..Oh, well, in 48 hours, this will all be over and I can get back to my old habits of reading any website but a cooking one ...
Whining but not shining,
I remain
Tizzie/Tiz/Tizmom/Mom/Liz/Elizabeth
Well, I thought that surely one of my more astute readers would have noticed my glaring error by now...any takers?
ReplyDeleteI'm not about to hunt for errors--which would give you another excuse not to blog! You've been very good with intermittent reinforcement-I keep coming back here religiously, with hopes to read an inspiring blog! Don't you remember the girl in the house whose mother only made lemon cookies and they went out for all meals? She came home early from school one day and found the box that the lemon cookies came in. It turns out Mom was buying the cookies and warming them up in the oven before the kids came home. Take a page from that! I also remember the girl who didn't know how to make a bed... LOVE the pictures and hearing about your shopping exploits. Let us know how Bunco turned out.
ReplyDeleteIn other words, you can't figure out my faux pas..maybe someone else can. No, I don't remember the lemon cookie tale, but I do remember learning about intermittent reinforcement in Psych 100 via a most revolutionary technique: the televised lecture.
ReplyDeleteAll I can find is the duplicate word of "shopping." And the only reason I found it was from copying and pasting it into word. Is this what you are talking about? It's not that big of a faux pas- don't be so hard on yourself!! :)
ReplyDeleteWell, you're all idiots as if you TRULY read the blog you would see that I said "Death and taxes come around every 12 months." Certainly, taxes come around that often, but death is certainly on no such schedule although I do contemplate dying every year as I attempt to get my tax stuff together. So, Little Miss Reading Comprehension (aka Molly) you need to reread your mother's blog!
ReplyDelete