Having a Gas

Recently, my girl cousins  had a reunion in St. Charles, MO.   One cousin was not able to come, and she just couldn’t bear to think of all the fun we were having without her.  She called incessantly seeking details of our exploits.  Where had we been?  What did we do? What were we talking about?  Did we have more than a few laughs when she wasn’t around? Why, we had to put ourselves and her on speakerphone just to pacify her. She even tried to stir up trouble by suggesting that we oust our matriarch – for no good reason - and put her in that esteemed position!  You can see her standing next to the legitimate queen above, trying to get close to the power.  Well, to stop put a stop to all her outrageous shenanigans once and for all, I have decided to give a full and accurate account of the cousins’ reunion.  Then she can stop torturing herself and everyone else. But, I’m warning her, this is a one year only deal.  Next year she must personally appear at the reunion.  So, here goes…

While most stories build up to something exciting, our excitement came right away.  Our first night together found us in the basement of Tony’s Restaurant taking cover from a tornado which did , in fact, touch down a few miles away.  Luckily, we had wine and wit to distract us from the cobwebs, the must, the dust, and the rumblings outside.  I sneaked to a quiet corner to call my  family and advise them of my whereabouts lest they need to come search for me .  It went something like this: “WHO is this?  Oh, are you gone this weekend? Yeah, I’ll tell Dad.  He’s eating.  He doesn’t want to talk. We’re at Panera.  No, I don’t need to write it down.  I’ll remember the restaurant’s name – Honey’s, right? Bye, Mom.”

We survived the first exciting event.  Little did we know what other adventures were awaiting us…things which caused us to laugh loud, uproariously, and nearly in one voice..

Making sure one cousin did not overdose --- on Gas-X.

Politely congratulating one cousin on her “great find” which appeared to be an old, beat up wooden table with a lamp attached. 

Chowing down on pizza, sweet potato fries, baked potato soup, toasted ravioli, gooey butter cake,oh, and of course,chocolate-covered bacon.  Now that I think about ,I'm the one who chowed down on most of those things; I'm not sure what the rest of them ate.  Who cares?

Learning with certainty that the superior intellect and beauty of our bloodline is indeed  being carried on to the next generation—if the grandchildren tales are to be believed.  Upon seeing that her shoes must be removed at airport security, one clever child whispered in Grandma's ear, "Do we have to take off the rest of our clothes, too?"   A brilliant deduction, indeed!  

Suffering  in silence sas my very own sister attempted to photograph a once-in-a-lifetime-guaranteed-to-go-viral shot of a cousin using a Tide stick to eliminate evidence of her sister's having sat in bird do – only to discover that my sis had taken a lengthy video of herself instead.  And I thought Siri only laughed at me.

Rejoicing in our new-found wealth after a short, but sweet, visit to the casino. 

Hearing several scatological tales which Tiztalk's ever-vigilant censors would not dream of printing (my children read this, you know)

But our most fun was just what we thought it was going to be: simply being together, laughing, and relishing our cousinhood.

Kinnin' and grinnin'

I remain

Tizzie/Tiz/Liz/Tizmom/Elizabeth