Dishing on My Friends, etc.

Hi, Saturday Slackers,

I have been saving up some good stories to tell you. Now if I can just remember them. Normally, I don’t make fun of my friends, but I’ll make an exception today. The first story involves my friend Jody and her husband John. Like many of us, Jody hasn’t had a new set of dishes since 1970s Corelle with brown doodad trim was all the rage. About a year ago, she decided to improve her tableware and started buying place settings of the ever-classic Fiestaware. She had proudly acquired nearly a full set in 4 eye-popping colors. She felt good. Flash forward to March 2011. Her husband John finally relented and agreed that the dishwasher was kaput. Ever the handyman, he took out the old one and installed the new one. Jody even helped him carry the old one down to the garage. Life in her kitchen just kept getting better and better. A co-worker gave John the phone number of a man who would come by with a truck and take away the old dishwasher in order to salvage the metal. Then the trouble started. Jody became annoyed with her grandson for taking all her Fiesta cereal bowls to the basement and not bringing them back up (imagine that!). She couldn’t find her serving spoon at just the right moment. Other items in her kitchen turned up missing. She finally made her way to the basement only to discover that the bowls weren’t hiding anywhere. Her grandson was telling the truth. A disturbing thought crossed her mind. She finally had to verbalize it , “You did unload the dishwasher before you put it on the curb, didn't you, John?” John “couldn’t remember.” Oh uh. He finally remembered that he hadn’t checked inside the dishwasher. He scrounged up the scrap of paper and called the man with the truck. He got the man’s son on the phone. When John asked if there were any dishes in the dishwasher, the young man guffawed and said they all broke to bits when he dumped the dishwasher at the dump. Ha ha ha! Needless to say, John cannot and will not live this one down. It is heretofore known as the "Fiesta Fiasco". One friend asked if John would let him know when he planned to replace his refrigerator. I even offered to stop by with a truck when that happens. I can always use a steak or two and...If you’ve done anything dumb lately, be sure to let me know. I’d be happy to help you tell your story...In other news, we went to Paris recently and as I was taking Mom for a ride around the northern edge of Twin Lakes my car was attacked by two huge Canadian (well, I didn't actually see their passports, but they did squawk kind of funny) geese. One dented my car and ran right into my windshield. It flew off toward the lake. Despite Mom's urgings, I did not take a gander to go back and see if it was still afloat...Mary then told me of another disturbing animal incident at Twin Lakes. Her friend was swimming in the lake when a giant swan flew over, spread its wings over her and began pecking her head under water. Evidently, she had swum too close to its nest. She had baseball-sized welts covering her back and head before it was all over...We decided to take the scenic route back from Paris to Columbia. The photo above shows one of our stops --- a two-story outhouse in none other than (as Dave Barry would say, "I am NOT making this up.") Gays, Illinois. Unfortunately, it was locked and we didn't get to try it out.... Pictures---the dishwasher couple, Nancy and Jody celebrating their mutual birthday, my sweet great nephew Drew whom I left out of my Christmas letter....




Taking abuse from a goose on the loose,
I remain
Tizzie/Tiz/Tizmom/Mom/Liz/Elizabeth

P.S. Are the mousetraps set? Put down that beer and go do it now! And while you're at it, spray the wasps. They're itching to come in your house.